Thursday, August 2, 2012

2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule

2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule

Posted by By August 2, 2012
2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule

4:00 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM Ceremonial ‘I hate America’ led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM Obama Receives Oscar for BEST ACTOR from George Clooney, Whoopi Goldberg, & Oprah
5:00 PM UFO Abduction Survival Joe Biden
5:30 PM Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite
5:45 PM Tribute to All 57 States
6:00 PM Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama 
9:15 PM Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo Michael Moore
9:45 PM Integrity and Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangle
10:00 PM Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners
10:30 PM Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ, & Afghanistan
11:00 PM Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM Crucifixion of Sheriff Joseph M. “Joe” Arpaio 
11:30 PM Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish Obama Presiding
12:00 AM Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Mahr
12:01 AM Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM Public Display of Forged Hawaii Birth Certificate
3:00 AM Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

3 comments:

  1. The 11:15 pm crucifixion of Sheriff Joe will be co-hosted by George Lopez. Senior Lopez will be giving his F-bomb speech from HBO: "And while we’re at it Sheriff Joe in Arizona – f— you you f—ing puto. How about that? F— you. You fat motherf—er. F— you. I said I was going to talk some s—. F— you Sheriff Joe you f—ing puto. F— you. F— you."

    11:25 pm Pere Valles, contributor to Obama and CEO of the Spanish company SKYTL that will count US votes on electronic voting machines from 26 states, all routed to Barcelona, will explain why it is not who votes that counts, but who counts the votes.

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  2. 4:20 PM Michelle Obama continues with her Powerpoint presentation of exorbitant vacations all over the world at taxpayer expense

    4:25 PM Michelle Obama continues with how to vote often by registering multiple times using the names of comic book characters, the deceased, and dogs

    11:29 PM Obama introduced by his long-time friend, terrorist Bill Ayers, who will be passing out instructions on how to bomb the US Capitol and Pentagon.

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  3. 8:00 PM Senate Majority leader Harry Reid lays out Obama's budget and tax increases for the next 4 years and announces that by the end of Obama's second term it will have been more than 2,800 days since the Senate has passed a budget.

    8:10 PM Janet Napolitano reveals Obama's plan to complete the annulment of the Constitution in his second term

    8:20 PM An agent from Dystel & Goderich explains how Obama's official bio for 17 years stated that Obama was "born in Kenya" but he didn't really mean it

    3:30 AM A special plea to all foreigners to continue to make large contributions to the campaign

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